Freddy Has a Fat Day
by Sgt.S.Pepper
Summary: We celebrate birthdays, christmas day and all other celebrations ending in 'day'... but why don't we celebrate fat days?


Ok, here is an attempt at humour... Please don't kill me for this... Freddy already has plans to do so and it would be a great disappointment for him if anyone else was to do it first. Please don't kill me /hides/

Freddy Has a Fat Day  
  
"OH MY GOD! IT'S FREDDY KRUEGER!" screamed 15 year old Angela. "I'M TRAPPED IN HIS BOILER ROOM! PLEASE, SOMEONE HELP ME BEFORE HE TRIES TO KILL ME! WAKE ME UP!"  
Angela proceeded to run down the small flight of stairs to the ramp below. Her breathing became harder and harder as tears sprung to her eyes as she continued her mad dash away in nothing but her pyjamas and barefoot. She mindlessly ran, not sure where she was going, but hoping to god that Freddy wouldn't catch her. She had been to this place before. The place he called his boiler room. Last time she had luckily come out alive, but she still had her wounds to show. Angela had gone 4 nights without sleep, enduring long hours of darkness that begged her and called to her to rest her eye lids and fall into the black sub consciousness of her worst nightmares. Nightmares she would never wake up from.  
It seemed this night, of all nights; her eyelids won and closed shut, refusing to open for anyone or anything, even if it meant the loss of her life. Even though Angela had no control of her sleeping form, still, she had some control of her dream, even if it was only the ability to run down constant staircases. She refused to give in, she would keep running and screaming, even if no one heard her. Anything to keep alive for as long as possible and not meet a drastic end to 4 mighty knives.  
Soon, Angela's legs began to ache worse than ever, and there was nothing left for her to do but rest. She slid her body in between 2 large boilers, making sure not to touch the burning metal. As she rested, she cleared her tears from her eyes and tried her hardest not to sniffle or draw attention to her temporary place of refuge.  
Seconds turned to minutes. It seemed like she had been there for hours, not one single peep or noise heard from beyond her boundary.  
"Where is he? Why aren't I dead yet?" Angela asked herself. "He is doing this on purpose! Waiting to see how long it is until I snap!"  
She positioned herself readily on the ground. If she was going to go out, she was going to go out with a bang! If Krueger brought one claw near her, she'd open 5 whole cans of whoop ass on him before he touched the ground.  
Angela smiled to herself. She could be known as the kid who killed Freddy! Well, one of the many other kids who took their chances at killing Freddy and won, even if it was only momentarily and he did return at a later period. But still, she could be famous! She would be a hero! Determination set in, and now Angela felt like she was ready for anything.  
"Bring it on Krueger!" she growled to herself. "Let's do this!"  
  
AN HOUR LATER   
  
"Oh man, where is he?! That bastard! He is trying to see how long it is until I snap!" growled Angela. "Well, if he wants to play games, I'll play! But using MY rules!" She repositioned herself for a full out offensive attack. Now, all she had to do was wait and not snap.  
  
SOMEWHERE ELSE IN THE BOILER ROOM   
  
"Ok, you can do this! Now, lets go out there and tear that little bitch a new asshole!" roared Freddy to his reflection. He flexed his muscles to emphasise his strength and fearlessness, then proceeded to jog out of the room. Then he stopped, just in front of the doorway.  
He let out a whine and turned around, walking back up to the mirror. He rolled his eyes and clenched his fists.  
"Fucking little bitches! Their stupid habits are rubbing off on me!" he growled. He stared into the mirror, his gaze directed to his stomach area. He turned his body to the side, his glare still kept on his stomach. With one hand, he reached over and patted it, sucking it in really far before letting it over-exaggeratingly slump out. He turned back around to face the front as he pulled the sides of his red and green sweater to tighten it around his waist, trying to make a comparison of before and after shots.  
He then grabbed the front of it and pulled it out really far, hoping to stretch it and prevent it from sitting directly on his stomach and not outline it. He grumbled to himself incoherently before placing his hands on his hips and stared at himself. He was trying his best to look as natural as possible, yet it was clearly seen that he was sucking in his stomach again. He tried to smile and pretend like it was nothing, except for the fact that a double chin was now appearing and he was beginning to ache all over.  
Freddy released his breath, which in turn released his stomach causing it to flop out like a wave. He wasn't a fat person, but he did have a bit of a beer gut that, now of all times, made Freddy feel terribly self- conscious.  
"It's gotta' be the jumper." He mumbled to himself, walking over to a cupboard in the back. He swung open the brown rotting doors and stared into the black, moist depths of hell. He rolled his eyes.  
"These won't do!" he roared, reaching his hand in and pulling out random items of clothing. A large pile soon began to flood the floor until nothing was left in his closet.  
"Well, these will obviously have to do then!" he grumbled to himself, taking the first shirt off the top of a pile. It was a ripped up jumper like his current red and green one, the only difference was that it bore stripes of black and grey.  
"How 'bout, umm, NO!" he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes and throwing it to the other side of the room. He picked up another jumper, stared at it putridly before tossing it to the other side of the room, as with a majority of the other jumpers lying strewn across his floor. Soon his practice of throwing things became so fast, he had tossed everything to the other side and proceeded to sit cross-legged on the floor, sighing and putting his face in his hands. Before comfort could ease his body, he quickly shot a glance up, looked around as if watching for someone, before pulling at the sides of his jumper to make them looser and not stick to him so it would not show off his 'sitting flubs'.  
Realising he couldn't fix himself well enough to his standards, he quickly shot up and let out a cry of frustration.  
"That's it! I'm not going! No one can get me out of this room!"  
"FREDDY!" roared a voice from outside.  
"Go away." Said Freddy in a tiny, meek voice.  
"Freddy! Hurry up! There is someone waiting for you out there! I can see they have "Slit my throat, I'm beautiful!" written all across themselves. If you don't come out now, they might wake up!" cried the voice again.  
Freddy let out a whimper before burying his head in his arms and sitting in a heap on the floor. "No." he said softly. "I don't care, I'm not coming out!"  
Suddenly, the door was torn off its hinges and a very pissed looking Candyman stormed in and glared at the huddled form of Freddy.  
"What the hell do you think you are doing?!" he roared. "Get out there now and do your job!"  
Freddy slowly raised his head to look in Candyman's direction before shaking his head 'no'.  
Candyman put his hands on his hips and growled. "You better have a good reason for this Krueger!" When Freddy gave Candyman no reply, Candyman rose his voice.  
"I'm not joking here! We have a job to do! And right now it's YOUR turn to do your job! Unless you can give me a good reason why you can't get out there and do it, then I will make you! If I have to walk over there, jam a finger up each nostril, and drag you out by your nose, I will damnit!"  
Freddy growled softly to himself. "If I tell you, will you leave me alone?"  
Candyman crossed his arms over his chest in a domineering fashion. "Maybe, depends what you have to say!"  
Freddy rolled his eyes and motioned for Candyman to come closer. Candyman at first gave Freddy an odd and questioning look, before looking around to make sure no one was watching. He then stepped forward and knelt down on his knees so he could hear Freddy's soft whispers.  
"I'm... having one of those days." He said softly, turning his head away. Candyman shot him a glance.  
"What do you mean?" asked Candyman confused with a slight worried tone in his voice. Freddy let out a small whine.  
"I'm having a fat day, alright? I just feel so fat that I don't want people to see me right now." Freddy sniffled softly before burying his head back into his arms to hide from Candyman's face.  
Candyman nodded his head understandingly before sitting next to Freddy and putting an arm around his shoulders. "I understand. If you don't feel like coming out, you don't have to. But seriously Fred, you aren't fat! You look really, really good in your jumper!"  
Small sniffles could be heard from Freddy as he slowly raised his head to look at Candyman. "Really? You don't think I'm fat?"  
Candyman smiled at Freddy before giving his shoulders a squeeze. "I know I can be a big meany sometimes, but I don't mean it. Of course I don't think you're fat! And I really think that jumper suits you, it makes you look so skinny and it definitely highlights and accentuates your skin."  
Freddy smiled. "Really? Aww, thanks. That makes me feel a lot better-"  
Freddy's words were cut off by a small and obnoxious doll entering the room.  
"What the hell is going on here, and why is there some stupid little whingy bitch out there still breathing?" cried Chucky. He noticed Candyman hugging Freddy and raised an eyebrow.  
"Did I disturb something?" he asked with a sickly looking face.  
Candyman sighed softly before looking up at Chucky. "Freddy's just having a bit of a fat day. He is alright, he's just a little too shy to come out of here right now."  
Chucky's face turned to a face of sorrow. "Aww, really? I'm sorry man. Seriously, you don't look fat Freddy, you look really good. You aren't fat, not like Candyman, he is such a fatty!" Chucky giggled softly to himself like a little school girl making Freddy smile and giggle as well. Candyman held back his laughter and instead put on a face of mock offense.  
"No way! You are sooooo much fatter than me doll! You only WISH you had a body like mine!"  
Freddy laughed again, joined by Candyman and Chucky. Neither of them had noticed as another figure walked into the room.  
"Excuse me, am I disturbing something here?" came the voice of Pinhead. The others looked up at the Cenobite and smiled.  
"I was just having a fat day and these guys came in and cheered me up." Said Freddy with a golden grin on his face.  
Pinhead's usual cold stare morphed into a face of concern. "Well I'm here to inform of firstly of a whining child out there who seems to be waiting for death. But it seems we have more important issues to deal with."  
Freddy, Candyman and Chucky all stopped their giggles and looked worryingly at Pinhead.  
"What's wrong?" asked Candyman quickly, his voice full of concern.  
"Jason is having an ugly day. He has locked himself in the bathroom and is refusing to come out. He doesn't think the hockey mask suits him anymore and he says he has no other nice masks to wear so he won't come out at all." Pinhead said softly.  
The other 3 let out sighs and 'Awww's'.  
"I really like the hockey mask." Said Chucky openly. "I thought it really brought out his eyes." Freddy, Candyman and Pinhead nodded knowingly.  
"Michael is there, communicating with Jason by passing notes under the door, trying to make him feel better and talk him into coming out. He can't do this alone, Jason needs all our support right now." Said Pinhead motioning for the others to follow him out.  
Chucky jumped up eagerly and followed Pinhead out with the strong desire to help their friend. Candyman and Freddy both got up and walked out together.  
"You feeling better now?" asked Candyman supportively. Freddy nodded.  
"Definitely. Thanks man, I don't know what I would do without my friends!" said Freddy with a smile as he quickened his pace. "C'mon, lets go help Jason! Last one there is still alive!"  
Candyman laughed loudly as he began his dash after Freddy. His grinned widened.  
"The sooner we help Jason, the sooner we can all go out for milkshakes!" he said happily as both men ran to help raise the spirits of one of their best friends.  
  
INBETWEEN 2 LARGE BOILERS   
  
"YOU'RE HERE, AREN'T YOU! YOU'RE HERE! WAITING FOR ME TO COME OUT AND LET YOU GET ME! AREN'T YOU! I KNOW YOU ARE! YOU ARE! I KNOW YOU ARE!" screamed the now hysterical Angela. Her eyes had grown twice their size and she was frothing at the mouth.  
"BUT GUESS WHAT! I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU GET ME! I WON'T, I WON'T!" She began howling insanely, her laughter was sickening and horrifying. She stood up and dashed across the floor out into the open, reaching the edge of the platform she stood on. She looked around, froth still trailing out the corners of her mouth and her eyes still the size of giant gobstoppers.  
"HAH, HAH! YOU CAN'T STOP ME NOW! YOU JUST LOST A VICTIM! I DIDN'T SNAP, YOU WANTED ME TO BUT I DIDN'T! I DIDN'T-..."  
Before she could say anything else, she fell to her doom. Apparently the froth from her mouth had caused the metal to become extremely slippery and in her wild state, Angela had not noticed where she was stepping and slipped on the froth. She hit the metal side railing and flipped over it, falling to her death.  
Meanwhile, a small green clad man was making his way down that exact ramp when he spotted the puddles of froth.  
"Eww..." he stated in his strong Irish accent. He reached up and from out of nowhere pulled down a microphone like you would see at a shopping centre.  
"This is Mr Leprechaun." He said in a formal tone. "Clean up in aisle 4, repeat, we need a clean up in aisle 4. Apparently there was an over- frothing of the mouth. Clean up please, aisle 4!"

/dodges flying knives/


End file.
